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Letter to My Daughters
By Stephanie Kemp








Dear Olivia and Frances,

I am at the cabin waiting for the exterminator to come and (hopefully!) finish this business with our friends, the mice.  I am happy to report that I didn't see any mice this time and it looks like they haven't been spending much time here (you know what I mean????).

There is a crystal blue sky and about 4 inches of fluffy white snow on the ground.  It crunches when you walk and there were perfect flakes on my windshield when I drove into town early this morning.  It is 10 degrees!  

I thought about you all night and in my dreams.  It has been a crazy couple of months, and especially crazy the last 2 weeks.  There are so many things I want to tell you, and so many things I don't, but feel I need to.

The world is such a beautiful place.  And there are so many amazing people in it.   I am grateful everyday for all of the people we have in our lives……family, friends, our community.  And I am so proud of you guys I feel like I could literally explode sometimes with how lucky I am to be your mom.

But I am rattled.  I am rattled by what has happened recently.  In the world and close to home.

The attacks in Paris.
The attack in San Bernardino.
What happened on the Disney Hall Field Trip.
School being closed today because of a threat to LAUSD.

And I am trying to figure out what I can do to feel calmer.

Walk in the woods.
Make soup.
Stop reading the news after I have the basic information.
Unplug from technology until my head clears.
Talk to people I love and miss.
Hug you and Daddy.
Clean a closet.
Write.

You need to know that the world can be a big and scary place.  I think you do know that.  Kids are amazing in what they know.

You also need to know that most people in the world are good.  They work hard, they love their families, they support their communities, they are there for their friends.   Have you ever heard the phrase “It takes a village"?   It means that no one can do everything on their own.  We all need to be good neighbors to each other.  Help and look out for each other.  Play an active part in each other's lives.  on our streets, in our schools, in our neighborhoods, in our country and our world.

Did you know that you guys already know that too?  Not only am I proud of who you both are and how you are both moving through the world, I am proud of how hard you work everyday, how you treat your friends, how good you are to our neighbors (and their pets!) and how happy people are to see you.  I love how sweet you are with Caleb and Paloma.  I love that they will grow up remembering the 2 beautiful big girls who made their neighborhood fun and safe and they will become the beloved big kids to little kids in the neighborhood when it is their turn.

The problem with being a parent is that the entire set up is a catch 22 (do you know what that is????  It is important and pops up a lot in life -- look it up!).  All you want to do is keep your kids safe and let them know that you will love them forever and be there for them no matter what.  But you also have to teach them about the world, let them go off into it -- baby steps at first (hopefully while you are spying on them from nearby without them knowing!), and then bigger and bigger steps. They have to do things on their own, find their way in and out of things (both good and bad, fun and scary), learn life's ropes.  Their tiny world has to get bigger and bigger, or they won't be able to maneuver things on their own when they need to.

And we all need to be able to navigate this world on our own at some point(s) or another.

There are important things to remember when things feel scary.  Or if you see something scary.

Remember that there are always going to be more good people than bad.
Remember that these people will always be willing to help and brave enough to come through for you.
If you are scared of something or see something scary, say something to a grown up.
Remember that you are smart and resourceful.
Remember that sometimes it is good to be quiet.
Sometimes it is good to be loud.
Trust your instincts. Our brains and hearts do a lot of heavy lifting for us without us even realizing it.

Even grown ups get scared sometimes.  And we need to remember these things too.  Just as I tell you guys over and over again to be aware of your surroundings, I have to remember to be aware of mine.  

Life is what you make it, baby cheeses. Look for the good, but don't pollyanna your way through the bad (you should look up pollyanna, too!). Own your emotions and your actions.  Be proud of the good that you do and accountable for the mistakes that you make.  And then forgive yourself for them and move on.

Have fun.
Love your friends.
Hug your people.
Grow your brains.
Read.
Write.
See.
Do.
Say yes when you can.
Say no when you need to.
Help people who need it.
Encourage people to help themselves.
Be strong.

I write these things on a day that I am feeling anxious. I love being here, but I want to hug you.

Next week I will get to do both, but today I am coming home to do the latter.

For a really long time.

So be warned!

Loveyou.
Loveyou.
Loveyou.

Xxxxxx Mom

ps.  When my computer isn't about to run out of juice I want to write to you about the importance of choosing your lens!

pps.  Where is the mouse man?????