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Summer
By Stephanie Kemp
Summer
By Stephanie Kemp
“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”
- Albert Camus
_________________
I have been asked to write about summer.
It is jarring (and I don’t want to) because I just finished a book called “Wintering.”
Katherine May’s beautiful book is all about hunkering and slowing down, the importance of honoring and living by the cycles of the seasons.
Paying attention.
Looking inward.
Shhhhhhhh….
Loss.
Grief.
Acceptance.
Un-belonging.
I loved it.
The literal and polar opposite of summer.
I pretend that the only reason I don’t want to write about summer is because I just read a book about winter.
There is absolutely no part of me that wants to acknowledge that I have let winter become a bully.
For 28 years, I have lived in a place with no seasons. For the first 15 or so, I had Michigan seasons in my bones, as my life time clock, my reminder that the world spins and so do we until it is our turn to take our final bow.
I don’t have those seasons in my bones anymore.
In recent years the place I try to call home has gotten so hot that I often don’t go outside during daylight hours.
Summer literally burns.
This question about summer has reminded me of all that I have been missing. How much I need and want and miss those (seasonal) moments of invincibility.
I am so sorry, Summer.
You were always my favorite:
Tawas
(Everything, but mostly the river and the Heidi Room)
Black River
(Everything, but mostly horses, and not being murdered)
Mackinac Island
(Bikes, boys, belonging with Dad and Steph, oatmeal, the underbelly of Queen Anne’s Lace, Mr. and Mrs. B, tennis, the Grand porch, Christopher Reeve, heartbreak)
Lake Jonah
(Everything Cranbrook, but mostly swimming in Jonah and taking Nick and Julian, but not the time I almost broke my neck in the shallow end and got yelled at, my mom going underwater and never worrying about her hair)
Orchard Lake
(See photo: Cousins, sisters, speedos, pool, Susan, Karen, pontoon boats, trying to water ski, stolen wine coolers, off season paddle tennis, pretending to belong - sometimes literally since it is a country club, that one summer I felt great in a bikini until my top fell off in the lake and I never found it)
Wisconsin
(The importance of a proper goodbye)
Walloon Lake
(Holly’s brothers, the smell of a motorboat, the bait and tackle at the end of the dock where I could buy - or steal - Marathon bars, the life changing nap, that time Nixon resigned, everything except the almost drowning in the rain storm)
Swim Team
(Dances only, I was a terrible swimmer. Never fully recovered from getting disqualified for my breast stroke or from James being in love with Tracy)
Stroh’s Ice Cream
(Only vanilla chocolate chip, always)
Pen Pals
(This means pal: the singular and singular Bob)
Mitch’s breadsticks
(Always after Orchard Lake, always with a sunburn, always the only thing I wanted to order unless I was old enough to order beer and/or someone else was paying)
Pasquales
(Extra pepperoni, crispy crusts, Grandma and Grandpa Kemp, Juicy Fruit, Hide and seek with Tracy and Ginny, Detective calls from the payphone, graduating to the tiny bar once I was old enough, cuddling with a boy I thought I might marry and thank god I didn’t)
Boyfriends
(…………….…….)
Sleeping at Anne’s
(Everything, but mostly her dad’s recliner, how welcome I was, her mom’s peanut butter rice crispy treats)
Pool Hopping with Eileen
(Only on the nights we were breaking up with Greg Kihn, never the nights when Eddie was around, wanting to grow up to be a nurse like Pam, stealing her parents red car, cookies)
Midnight Bike rides
(This memory real estate is mostly hogged by the ride to the Royal Wedding - the 4am ride to a ceremony and viewing party that were as perfect as the marriage was not, the realization that Jim B. would always throw the best parties, even after he moved to Florida and I couldn’t go to them.)
Midnight Madness
(Orthogonality, Levi corduroys on sale, Olga’s, Shain Park, in love with my friends - boys and girls - and my hometown. )
Driving in Mary’s blue convertible
(Except when we got arrested)
Pine Knob
(First Concert: Jefferson Starship with 38 Special and the Allens’ white van. Last Concert: Bob Dylan with Ginny and a picnic)
Royal Oak Music Theatre
(Susie and Tommy and the Dans, Journey, JJ without the Morning Crew)
Hot Tubs and Hummers with Lori and James
(This was not nearly as good - or as bad - as it sounds)
Swimming and milkshakes
(Everywhere, always, everywhere.)
Sunburn
(Everywhere, always, on purpose)
Summer Jobs
(Avon Lady and the Campus Shop with a dash of Airshow Product Demonstration to introduce the world to Aspartame, thanks to Lauren’s Mom even though we pronounced it uh-spart-uh-me)
Real Fireworks
(I was reminded every 4th of July that I was the luckiest girl on the planet only to be disappointed when I got my pictures developed and all the fireworks were blurry)
Lost In Space
(In our den on Westwood, only aired in the summer and always in the late afternoon. I remember picture only as I was usually exhausted from my day and Lost in the Space and Greatness of my own summer life. I do remember hoping Don and Judy would get together in the end and that Dr. Smith wouldn’t kill everyone)
_________________
I have to leave it here for now. I am going to go for a walk with no hat.
Thank you, Summer.
I promise to revisit this list (and you) when I am not still processing Winter.
I won’t even wait for someone to ask me to do it.
You deserve better and you (and I) will get it.
...Starting ASAP in a pontoon boat with all of y/our friends and an entire bathing suit.
- Albert Camus
_________________
I have been asked to write about summer.
It is jarring (and I don’t want to) because I just finished a book called “Wintering.”
Katherine May’s beautiful book is all about hunkering and slowing down, the importance of honoring and living by the cycles of the seasons.
Paying attention.
Looking inward.
Shhhhhhhh….
Loss.
Grief.
Acceptance.
Un-belonging.
I loved it.
The literal and polar opposite of summer.
I pretend that the only reason I don’t want to write about summer is because I just read a book about winter.
There is absolutely no part of me that wants to acknowledge that I have let winter become a bully.
For 28 years, I have lived in a place with no seasons. For the first 15 or so, I had Michigan seasons in my bones, as my life time clock, my reminder that the world spins and so do we until it is our turn to take our final bow.
I don’t have those seasons in my bones anymore.
In recent years the place I try to call home has gotten so hot that I often don’t go outside during daylight hours.
Summer literally burns.
This question about summer has reminded me of all that I have been missing. How much I need and want and miss those (seasonal) moments of invincibility.
I am so sorry, Summer.
You were always my favorite:
Tawas
(Everything, but mostly the river and the Heidi Room)
Black River
(Everything, but mostly horses, and not being murdered)
Mackinac Island
(Bikes, boys, belonging with Dad and Steph, oatmeal, the underbelly of Queen Anne’s Lace, Mr. and Mrs. B, tennis, the Grand porch, Christopher Reeve, heartbreak)
Lake Jonah
(Everything Cranbrook, but mostly swimming in Jonah and taking Nick and Julian, but not the time I almost broke my neck in the shallow end and got yelled at, my mom going underwater and never worrying about her hair)
Orchard Lake
(See photo: Cousins, sisters, speedos, pool, Susan, Karen, pontoon boats, trying to water ski, stolen wine coolers, off season paddle tennis, pretending to belong - sometimes literally since it is a country club, that one summer I felt great in a bikini until my top fell off in the lake and I never found it)
Wisconsin
(The importance of a proper goodbye)
Walloon Lake
(Holly’s brothers, the smell of a motorboat, the bait and tackle at the end of the dock where I could buy - or steal - Marathon bars, the life changing nap, that time Nixon resigned, everything except the almost drowning in the rain storm)
Swim Team
(Dances only, I was a terrible swimmer. Never fully recovered from getting disqualified for my breast stroke or from James being in love with Tracy)
Stroh’s Ice Cream
(Only vanilla chocolate chip, always)
Pen Pals
(This means pal: the singular and singular Bob)
Mitch’s breadsticks
(Always after Orchard Lake, always with a sunburn, always the only thing I wanted to order unless I was old enough to order beer and/or someone else was paying)
Pasquales
(Extra pepperoni, crispy crusts, Grandma and Grandpa Kemp, Juicy Fruit, Hide and seek with Tracy and Ginny, Detective calls from the payphone, graduating to the tiny bar once I was old enough, cuddling with a boy I thought I might marry and thank god I didn’t)
Boyfriends
(…………….…….)
Sleeping at Anne’s
(Everything, but mostly her dad’s recliner, how welcome I was, her mom’s peanut butter rice crispy treats)
Pool Hopping with Eileen
(Only on the nights we were breaking up with Greg Kihn, never the nights when Eddie was around, wanting to grow up to be a nurse like Pam, stealing her parents red car, cookies)
Midnight Bike rides
(This memory real estate is mostly hogged by the ride to the Royal Wedding - the 4am ride to a ceremony and viewing party that were as perfect as the marriage was not, the realization that Jim B. would always throw the best parties, even after he moved to Florida and I couldn’t go to them.)
Midnight Madness
(Orthogonality, Levi corduroys on sale, Olga’s, Shain Park, in love with my friends - boys and girls - and my hometown. )
Driving in Mary’s blue convertible
(Except when we got arrested)
Pine Knob
(First Concert: Jefferson Starship with 38 Special and the Allens’ white van. Last Concert: Bob Dylan with Ginny and a picnic)
Royal Oak Music Theatre
(Susie and Tommy and the Dans, Journey, JJ without the Morning Crew)
Hot Tubs and Hummers with Lori and James
(This was not nearly as good - or as bad - as it sounds)
Swimming and milkshakes
(Everywhere, always, everywhere.)
Sunburn
(Everywhere, always, on purpose)
Summer Jobs
(Avon Lady and the Campus Shop with a dash of Airshow Product Demonstration to introduce the world to Aspartame, thanks to Lauren’s Mom even though we pronounced it uh-spart-uh-me)
Real Fireworks
(I was reminded every 4th of July that I was the luckiest girl on the planet only to be disappointed when I got my pictures developed and all the fireworks were blurry)
Lost In Space
(In our den on Westwood, only aired in the summer and always in the late afternoon. I remember picture only as I was usually exhausted from my day and Lost in the Space and Greatness of my own summer life. I do remember hoping Don and Judy would get together in the end and that Dr. Smith wouldn’t kill everyone)
_________________
I have to leave it here for now. I am going to go for a walk with no hat.
Thank you, Summer.
I promise to revisit this list (and you) when I am not still processing Winter.
I won’t even wait for someone to ask me to do it.
You deserve better and you (and I) will get it.
...Starting ASAP in a pontoon boat with all of y/our friends and an entire bathing suit.