__________________________________
Manifesto
By Stephanie Kemp
Manifesto
By Stephanie Kemp
Theme: “I Remember You.”
I will tell y/our stories.
(And I wrote 399 poems for y/our daughters.)
___________
I had a great childhood.
Loved it.
Miss it.
Wanted to recreate it for my kids.
But I am most formed by my hurts and childhood wounds.
They are my River Teeth.*
(Too?) early on, this became my mantra:
We come in alone and go out alone. It’s ok to let people in and love them, but you better not lose sight of the fact of that last part.
What is surprising to me is that I love to tell these stories.
Remember them.
Learn from them (again).
Every time I recovered from one of the wounds, I would grow a scar that would protect me later. This is what I think every time I try (whether I succeed or fail) to protect my daughters from anything that might pierce them.
What is essential to me is that my childhood self is always in me:
Trusting.
Pure.
Hopeful.
Resilient.
She makes me better, even when I am resentful of all her goodness.
_________________
BelieveFeelWonderHopeWantWorryFear
I believe we are fully formed as who we will be/are when are children. We have a ton to learn, but we are in there. And want to learn.
(I know how lucky I am to be able to say this.)
I feel protective of that small person that was me.
I wonder if she is proud of us.
I hope she is. I hope she is getting what she wanted. Her needs were simple, she didn’t want that much.
I want not to believe that the (only) reason she didn’t want that much was because she had so much. (No no - that is not little me - that is big me trying to butt in.)
I want to stick by her. She brings out the best me.
I worry about her. That I sometimes shut her down. Get mad at her for all that optimism and hope.
I fear that one day I might not be able to find her. Or that she will run out of tenacity because I have stolen it from her and wasted it.
_________________
My childhood self was my original best friend.
The reason I love to be alone is because she is always with me. She is still curious. And she is not done.
If she were to disappear, I would too.
I feel another poem coming on.
400😳.
*”River Teeth” is a book of essays by David James Duncan. Please let me know if you would like me to send you a copy.
I will tell y/our stories.
(And I wrote 399 poems for y/our daughters.)
___________
I had a great childhood.
Loved it.
Miss it.
Wanted to recreate it for my kids.
But I am most formed by my hurts and childhood wounds.
They are my River Teeth.*
(Too?) early on, this became my mantra:
We come in alone and go out alone. It’s ok to let people in and love them, but you better not lose sight of the fact of that last part.
What is surprising to me is that I love to tell these stories.
Remember them.
Learn from them (again).
Every time I recovered from one of the wounds, I would grow a scar that would protect me later. This is what I think every time I try (whether I succeed or fail) to protect my daughters from anything that might pierce them.
What is essential to me is that my childhood self is always in me:
Trusting.
Pure.
Hopeful.
Resilient.
She makes me better, even when I am resentful of all her goodness.
_________________
BelieveFeelWonderHopeWantWorryFear
I believe we are fully formed as who we will be/are when are children. We have a ton to learn, but we are in there. And want to learn.
(I know how lucky I am to be able to say this.)
I feel protective of that small person that was me.
I wonder if she is proud of us.
I hope she is. I hope she is getting what she wanted. Her needs were simple, she didn’t want that much.
I want not to believe that the (only) reason she didn’t want that much was because she had so much. (No no - that is not little me - that is big me trying to butt in.)
I want to stick by her. She brings out the best me.
I worry about her. That I sometimes shut her down. Get mad at her for all that optimism and hope.
I fear that one day I might not be able to find her. Or that she will run out of tenacity because I have stolen it from her and wasted it.
_________________
My childhood self was my original best friend.
The reason I love to be alone is because she is always with me. She is still curious. And she is not done.
If she were to disappear, I would too.
I feel another poem coming on.
400😳.
*”River Teeth” is a book of essays by David James Duncan. Please let me know if you would like me to send you a copy.