__________________________________
Jolie-Laide
By Stephanie Kemp
Jolie-Laide
By Stephanie Kemp

How can I love you so much?
Of my 20,266 days on this planet, we have only been together 189.
You aren’t even that nice to me.
I don’t understand you (much more than) half the time.
You laugh at me…
How come I love you so much?
I will never know you.
You never push me down (on purpose) but always show me how to get up.
You force me to laugh. (Even when I took the wrong bus to Neudorf and after I cried.)
I can’t waste words, or hide behind them when we are together.
You implore me to be quiet.
Oh my god how it feels to be quiet!
I wonder about you,
and then you make me wonder about everything else.
(And you remind me to use my manners, even and especially with people I will never see again.)
Parts of you are so fucking beautiful.
(Sorry, I know you hate that word, and with adjectives, no less…)
But I also, even and especially, love your ugly bits.
How will I ever write you down?
You will make me (want to).
Even and especially when I don’t understand the words, or the world...
Through your teasing.
Promising.
Delivering.
And because I will be quiet in spoken words only.
You don’t let me off the hook,
But you never twist me on it.
This is because of your history, not mine.
A bientôt…
I can’t wait.
I am going to start with y/our ugly bits.